Lying Is The Most Fun
by SecondhandSerenade
Summary: When Hermione comes back to school for her seventh year, a silly Marriage Law is passed. Who is Hermione Granger going to marry? Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione was slowly but surely packing her trunk for her last year at Hogwarts. The trio managed to kill Voldemort. The wizarding world had finally been safe now. But the loss was huge. They'd lost Dumbledore, Tonks, Remus, Fred, Sirius... It was horrible. But at least they didn't have to live through the war.  
>Hermione finally packed all her stuff when she heard a loud crack downstairs. She stiffened and grabbed her wand. Someone just floo'd into her house, all right. Thank Merlin her parents weren't at home. She slowly approached the door and headed to the stairs. When she stepped closer to them, she saw a familliar blonde looking around her living room.<br>„_Malfoy?_" She gasped when she saw his face. Yeah, Draco freakin' Malfoy. The boy who had caused her so much pain, the boy who was at one point supporting the man who wanted to kill her best friend. Why was he in her house? What does he want?  
>Hermione cleared her throat, and spoke in a calm tone.<br>„What do you want?" She said, raising an eyebrow.  
>„Just wanted to let you know we're Slytherin and Gryffindor Head Boy and Girl. And apparently McGonagall wants the houses to – er – unite or something. So the Slytherin Head Boy and Gryffindor Head Girl are in the same dormitory. Pansy is with Potter, yeah," Draco smirked, „poor Potter, he hasn't got an idea what's he getting into. But yeah, just thought I'd let you know. Don't want you to be fainting on your first day there, do we?" He laughed, the smirk still on his lips.<br>„Okay, let me get this straight," said Hermione, „I – Hermione Granger – will be sharing a dormitory with you – Draco Malfoy – for a _whole year?_" Draco nodded and Hermione gave a desperate sigh.  
>„Listen, Granger, I still hate you. We'll just have to act..." He rolled his eyes. „Friendly."<br>„The feeling's mutual, then, Malfoy," she spat, „I'd rather be stuck with Parkinson." She scoffed. In fact, she'd rather be with Harry. Why did McGonagall do this? She knew very well how Draco and Hermione got along.  
>„Good," said Draco.<br>„Good," replied Hermione  
>„Fine."<br>„Fine! Now leave. The train's leaving at 11 o' clock, it's 10 right now. I should be getting ready right now. You might as well come with me, we'll probably be in the same department, if I'm not mistaken."  
>„I suppose so. But I'll much rather floo there. You can apparate to King's Cross or something. I most certainly don't want to be seen with a mudblood." Draco smirked once again, stepped into the fireplace and disappeared with a loud crack and a mist of green flames.<br>„Good GOD. What a complete _arse," _Hermione stomped upstairs to her room, grabbed her trunk and Crookshanks with the other, making sure he was safe and sound in her arms, and then in a blink of an eye, she disappeared.

After a nauseous ride she finally got to King's Cross. Marching over to platform 9 and 3 quarters, she noticed curious looks were following her. She rolled her eyes and ran through the brick wall. When she opened her eyes, she saw the well known Hogwarts Express. There was a lot of steam of course, but the chattering and the clatter of the crowd was what Hermione missed the most. Soon she'd see Harry, and – that idiot. Just when Hermione thought things were going splendidly, Ronald Bilius Weasley broke up with her. Because of reasons _„unknown" _to Hermione. What did Ron think, who was she? She was, after all, the brightest witch of her age. He had broken up with her because of Brown, he did. After all her luggage was safely placed in the train, she marched over to the first entrance into the train. She walked to the department where all the Head Boys and Girls were and she found Harry quite quickly, sitting by himself, with a look of misery etched upon his face. She sat down in the seat opposite of him.  
>„Harry? What's got your wand in a knot?"<br>„I'm paired up with Parkinson," he said, but Hermione thought she couldn't possibly be that bad. „How am I supposed to marry a Slytherin?" Harry muttered sadly, making Hermione gasp.  
>„What the hell do you mean by <em>marry<em>? Harry?"  
>„Oh, you don't know?" He sighed, „here, read this." He said in the same sad and miserable tone and passed her a copy of the Daily Prophet.<p>

_A NEW BEGINNING_

_Since the Second Wizarding War, the number of wizards in England has become critically low. Our Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, has passed a new law called the Marriage Law. Every wizard or witch aged 16 or older must marry and have a child or more in a certain time period. Every wizard or witch older than 17 will recieve a note with their future spouse's name written on it. As for Hogwarts, most of the Gryffindors will be paired with Slytherins. As we all know, the two houses are known for a fight going on ever since the school was established, and Mr. Shacklebolt thinks that this will decrease the hatred between Slytherin and Gryffindor students. _

_Rita Skeeter_

Hermione gawped at the paper in front of her for a few minutes.  
>„They 'ought to be joking," she said calmly, „it has to be a joke. They can't just force us to marry someone, can they?" She muttered and gave a desperate sigh when Harry nodded.<br>„'M afraid they can. It's the Ministry. They can do everything, and we haven't got a vote in it."  
>„But – what about professor McGonagall? She had to have a say in this!"<br>„She did – but no one wanted to hear anything, everyone said that we had to repopulate. I honestly don't see what's wrong with just marrying who you want and having kids with the person you love," Harry sighed, „I'd rather go through the Second Wizarding War again. I don't want to marry Parkinson," he whined.  
>„Oh, please. She can't be <em>that <em>bad. You'll be able to protect yourself if she tries to curse you, so you've nothing to be worried about. The thing that's troubling me is – you got paired with Parkinson, and you're Head Boy and Girl. What if I get paired with Malfoy?" Hermione gasped and Harry became even more miserable than he already was. Hermione sighed and didn't say anything. She knew this had to be hard on him. Draco was his arch-nemesis, and it would be horrible if he had to see him with his best friend on a daily basis. Besides, Hermione would have to kiss the greasy git. And later have kids with him – how was this acceptable? Hermione heaved a sigh and pulled her Gryffindor robe over her clothes and Harry did the same. The train was slowing down and soon they'd be at Hogwarts – only this would be the worst year yet.

Harry and Hermione left the train last, since they had to make sure no one was left. When they finally got out they heard Pansy's shrieks and yells.

„I DON'T WANT TO MARRY POTTER! HE'S AWFUL!" The pug-faced girl moaned to Draco who just rolled his eyes.  
>„Oi, Parkinson! I'm not half as bad as you think," Harry yelled over at her, making Pansy scrunch her nose and march off.<p>

They were already in the carriage when it became dark. After 15 minutes they were in front of the castle. Harry and Hermione strode proudly to the Gryffindor table, with the gleaming Head Boy and Girl badges fixed on their robes.  
>„Oi, Harry! Harry!" Called Seamus. „D'you know who you're paired up with?"<br>„Yeah. Parkinson," said Harry, and almost instantly gasps were heard all over the table.  
>„I got Zabini," muttered Ginny who was sitting opposite of Hermione. When Harry heard this, he clenched his fist and slammed it hard on the table, making Ginny and Hermione jump.<p>

Headmistress Minerva McGonagall had stood up and started her speech.  
>„Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. Now, I'll get straight to the point. All of the students aged 16 and above MUST marry. <em>No exceptions<em>. I understand it is hard, and I have tried everything and anything to stop this law, but Shacklebolt can not be reasoned. I am very sorry, children. But all of those who have not recieved their notes will recieve them tommorrow or tonight. As most of you know, the wedding is to be held this month and you must concieve a child in a timespan of five weeks. Now, on to the feast," McGonagall ended her speech and clapped her hands, and piles of food appeared on the golden plates in front of the staff and students.  
>Hermione wasn't hungry at all. She only ate a bit of chicken. But she felt sick to the stomach – what was wrong with the ministry? How can they just force 16-year-olds to marry and have sex? When the food disappeared, Hermione marched off angrily to the 7th floor and into the Head Boy and Girl dormitory. It was shaped like the Gryffindor common room, with squashy armchairs, but it had both Slytherin and Gryffindor colours and mascots. Hermione walked upstairs to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Her hair wasn't as frizzy as it was before so it was much easier to wash it. It was now smooth and fell down her back in soft ringlets.<br>She wrapped a towel around herself, and, forgetting she wasn't home anymore, walked downstairs half naked. She regretted it instantly. Draco was sitting on the sofa, glaring at her almost-exposed breasts.  
>„Woah, Granger. Nice boobs," he said and smirked, as Hermione ran upstairs again.<br>„Bloody hell! He saw me... Greasy git," she muttered and dressed up. With a simple drying spell she dried her hair and collapsed onto her bed, falling asleep quite quickly.

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><p><strong>Thanks a lot for reading this story! It means a lot to me 3 Please review if you liked it, I'd really appreciate it!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I'd like to thank you all for the lovely reviews - it really means a lot to me. I will try to update as fast as I possibly can.**

**But here we are, chapter two! I hope you like it.**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Hermione woke due to a very loud noise inside her bedroom. An owl was screeching and flying from one end of the room to another.<br>"Oi, you! Come over here," she gestured to the bed and patted the spot where the owl was supposed to land. It flew quickly to the place that Hermione had patted and waited patiently for her to take the note. Before it managed to get away, Hermione gave it an owl snack.  
>"Well, this is it, I guess," she muttered and unfolded the letter, her eyes closed. When she opened them, she dropped the letter in shock.<br>"I fucking knew it. I knew it," she muttered under her breath and picked up the letter. Truth be told, she wasn't that upset – part of her knew it was coming.  
>"Oi, Malfoy!" she shouted and could hear Draco's footsteps.<br>"What is it, Grang-," he didn't even finish the sentence because Hermione shoved the letter in his face. He read it, his eyes wide.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger, we are sending this letter to inform you that you are to be married due to the new Marriage Law. I know that this is hard on both of you, since you never really got along but that's exactly the point of this law. Uniting people who had hated eachother since they met – I am sure you will be able to get along just well after you've spent some quality time together. I am sure you already know you are to be married this week and then conceive a child. Best of luck,_

_Professor and Headmistress,  
>Minerva McGonagall<em>

"I can't believe they're actually serious about it – I thought it was all a joke but it's real. And we have to have kids together?" muttered Draco, visibly upset.  
>"Yes, apparently we do. So let's make a deal. We're no longer Granger and Malfoy, but Hermione and Draco. I don't want my children's parents not to talk – besides I won't be Granger for long. I'll go write a letter to my parents now," said Hermione and creeped upstairs once again. Once she reached her room, she searched for a spare piece of parchment and her quill. When she found them, she began to write.<p>

_Dear mum and dad, I've some news – I don't know whether you'll consider them good or bad, but they're not good for me. Since the Second Wizarding War, us wizards have critically decreased in numbers – we therefore have to repopulate. A few days ago a ridiculous law was passed and everyone aged 16 and above must marry and conceive a child. It's silly – but I have to do it, I have no other choice. If I don't do it, my wand'll be snapped in half and I will be banned from the Wizarding World. Please, I know it's hard for you – but I must do it. It's not easy for me – I'm marrying Draco Malfoy. The wedding is this week – I'd love it if you attended. _

_Love, Hermione_

Hermione sighed and folded the parchment so it was just a small note and set off to the Owlery. Once she arrived she walked over to the nearest owl and tied the note to it's leg and watched it soar away. And then she went back to her dormitory again.

"Did you send it, then?" muttered Draco once she entered, "did you tell them how awfully horrible I am?"  
>"I didn't say anything about you – well, except saying I'll be marrying you, of course," said Hermione, rolling her eyes at Draco, "anyway I have to buy a wedding dress. I'll see you later."<br>"Oi, wait. You're going to be my wife anyway so -," said Draco and rummaged through his pockets, until he finally found his wallet. He took out a shimmering golden credit card – Hermione didn't know wizards had credit cards as well.  
>"Yea, we have credit cards – been invented a few years ago," he said, handing the credit card over to Hermione, "it's got plenty of money on there, so shop as much as you wish."<br>"Well, um -," she spluttered, "thanks, Draco," she muttered and set off to Hogsmeade.

She was surprised to see Ginny and Luna there. She walked over to them, waving happily, as though she wasn't going to be married to Malfoy in less than a week.

"Luna! Ginny!" she said, beaming at them. They turned around and waved back at her.  
>"Oh, hello, Hermione. We're just shopping for wedding dresses. Who're you paired up with?" asked Luna, in the same dreamy state she was always in.<br>"I'll tell you after you tell me," she muttered.  
>"I'm with Blaise Zabini. He's that Slytherin boy that hangs out with Malfoy a lot. He's not all that bad – we talked today. Seems a nice person. And Luna here's with Seamus. And – um – Lavender's with Dean... And Harry's with Parkinson," said Ginny, her eyes flashing, "that bitch," she muttered, "oh, and Ron's with Millicent Bulstrode."<br>Hermione sighed, "I'm with Draco Malfoy."  
>"YOU WHAT?" screamed Ginny, attracting funny looks from the people around them.<br>"Yea, I'm not too pleased about it myself either."  
>"Lucky," said Ginny and Hermione gaped at her, and Ginny continued, "he's supposed to be the Hogwarts sex god, isn't he?"<br>"_Ginny!_" growled Hermione quietly and elbowed her in the ribs.  
>"Well, I'm just saying, calm down. But I suppose Blaise's not all that bad either – I'd rather be with Harry, of course," she said, frowning. Hermione was sure she was thinking of Pansy strutting about with Harry – Hermione herself didn't like that thought, "but I can't wait to see how good Blaise is in bed," smirked Ginny and giggled along with Luna. Hermione couldn't help but smile herself.<p>

Soon they were at Madam Malkins' Robes for all Occasions – she built another shop right here at Hogsmeade, which was fortunate – all three girls needed a dress.  
>The trio marched in happily and marched to the dressed right away.<p>

Ginny found a dress right away. It was lovely and matched Ginny perfectly. It was traditional but yet modern. It was sleeveless and the gown had a tight bodice covered in floral lace. The crushed crepe pick-up skirt gave it that traditional look.  
>Luna's dress was also sleeveless and very elegant; it had a sheer chiffon overlay. The bodice was embroided with pink details and beaded lines along the bust and a thick ribbon band was placed on the waist.<br>Hermione's dress was also quite pretty. It was a strapless gown that had a modern bubble hem. The bodice was fitted and the skirt was flowing and accented with delicate floral lace.

The three girls had found shoes – all were simple silver heels. When they left the store it was very dark. Ginny and Luna left to find veils for themselves, since they didn't manage to find them. Hermione did, however, but decided to stay for a bit. Her hands were empty, since she stuffed her shopping bags into her bag which was extended due to Hermione's crafty spellwork. She walked around Hogsmeade for about 15 minutes, but since there was no trace of Ginny and Luna, she decided to go back to the castle. It was very dark by now – must've been at least 11pm – and there were no street lamps. 'Twas very creepy. Suddenly Hermione heard a noise; it was a twig breaking.  
>"Ginny? Luna?" she muttered, but then realized it was foolish of her to do so. How in the world would Ginny and Luna know that it was Hermione? The only thing she felt was a sharp pain in her stomach – and then she fainted.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I have to admit that after reading those reviews I was literally sitting there just grinning like an idiot. But here you go, third chapter, hope you like it~ And of course, a bit of actual Dramione at the end. **

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><p>When Hermione finally woke, she noticed she was laying on the cold dirty, floor of a small, dark tent. A man was rummaging through her bag next to her. She recognized him right away; that was Barty Crouch Jr. Only he didn't seem quite... Sane anymore. Of course he didn't – he got a Dementor's Kiss. They say that's a fate worse than death. But it seemed that Crouch didn't notice Hermione had woken up and left the tent a few minutes later.<br>"This is my chance," she muttered and reached for her bag, but a sharp pain buzzed through her body immediately. She did manage to grab her wand, however, and looked at her stomach; a large, bloody wound was there. It seemed that Crouch attached her – with a knife, apparently. She wondered why hadn't he used a wand – but then she remembered. They probably took it away after he recieved the Dementor's Kiss, and let him walk around freely because they thought he wasn't a threat anymore. _Oh, how wrong you are, Ministy, how wrong you are, _thought Hermione and groaned as her wound only began to hurt more, but she didn't know how to heal herself. At that moment, Crouch entered the tent and continued rummaging, still not noticing Hermione was wide awake – and about to attack him.  
>"Petrificus Totalus!" Hermione yelled and Crouch dropped to the floor. Although she was severely wounded, she stood up and went to grab her bag. Fortunately, Crouch was still laying on the floor and not moving. It seemed that he wouldn't be able to move for a while. Hermione ran out the tent, and was surprised to see that it was almost morning. The sky was a light blue, but parts of it were still dark. Maybe, if he was able to move now, he wouldn't quite see her yet. Her body winced at the slightest movement, but she managed to make it back to the castle. No one was in the corridors, and she was quite thankful for that. She hurried up to the seventh floor to her dormitory, whispered the password and entered the dormitory, collapsing on the couch in front of the fire, her breathing ragged. Soon, she heard footsteps and Draco was in their common room.<br>"Hermione! You're bac-," he gasped when he saw her bleeding wound. "I have to get you to the Hospital Wing," he muttered, but recieved no response. He swooped her up off the couch, and heard a muffled cry of pain. Draco carried her all the way to the Hospital Wing and they reached their destination quite quickly. Draco wasn't surprised to see Madam Pomfrey already running around the room. He put Hermione down on the nearest bed and waited for Madam Pomfrey to come rushing to them. And she did; she walked over to the bed in a hurry and gasped at the sight.  
>"My dear boy, what happened to her?"<br>"I've no idea – I – I just found her laying on the couch and -," he cut off and spoke no more. Madam Pomfrey rushed out of their sight and came back soon, her hands full of numerous potions and medical equipment.  
>"I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave now, Mr. Malfoy. Feel free to linger around, but I must heal her," said Madam Pomfrey and watched Draco leave Hermione's bedside. Madam Pomfrey closed the curtain around Hermione's bed and Draco wasn't able to see what was happening to her anymore. Could it be that he was actually developing feelings for her now? Could he actually be falling in love with Hermione Granger?<p>

"Mr. Malfoy!" called Madam Pomfrey after a while, taking Draco by surprise and making him jump. "She's quite well now," she said as she opened the curtains and he could see Hermione laying on the bed, sleeping, her stomach wrapped in bandages and all the potions were empty.  
>"T-thanks a lot, Madam Pomfrey. I think I'll go – er – get Potter and Weasley. It's around time for breakfast, isn't it?" he said and hurried off to the Great Hall. Draco sighed as he approached the Gryffindor table.<br>"Potter, Weasley. Hermione's in the Hospital Wing."  
>"She's <em>WHERE<em>?" said both Harry and Ron in unison and shot up from their seats and ran out of the Great Hall, Draco following them.  
>"Malfoy, I swear, if you were the one who hurt her-," said Harry, but Draco shook his head.<br>"I didn't. I promise you I didn't – I just heard someone entering our common room and I went downstairs to see what happened – and I saw her laying there, all bloody and whatnot," said Draco, and thought how did she even manage to get back to the castle if she was hurt all along.  
>They arrived to the Hospital Wing and saw Hermione wide awake although she didn't notice them, because she was talking to a very worried Professor McGonagall. Draco, Harry and Ron approached Hermione and could hear her telling Professor McGonagall not to worry.<br>"No, honestly, Professor. I'm honestly feeling much better – Madam Pomfrey's healed me and I'm just fine – I'm sure I'll be able to attend classes today, so please don't worry," she said and shot a sweet smile at McGonagall who sighed and smiled back, and left the Hospital Wing.  
>"'Mione! You okay?" shouted Ron and hurried to her bedside, but Hermione just groaned and crossed her arms.<br>"What do you want, Ronald? I really don't want to see you right now," she scoffed at him.  
>"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have broken up with you."<br>"Oh, please, you know you're not. It doesn't matter now anyway. I'm marrying Draco now and you're marrying Bulstrode, aren't you? So I don't want to hear your apologies. You were my best friend and boyfriend – but now you're just a friend."  
>"Hermione," Harry cleared his throat and approached her bed, "how you feeling?"<br>"Better," she muttered.  
>"But – what happened?" asked Harry and sat down on the end of her bed.<br>"Well, I don't remember most of it – all I remember is that I was going back from Hogsmeade and I just got sharp pains in the stomach area and I fainted. Then I woke up and – and... Barty Crouch Jr. was there, he obviously attacked me and – I cast Petrificus Totalus on him and I've no idea what happened to him, I just ran and – well, I suppose Draco's already told you when and where he found me."  
>"I have no idea what would happen if – if you didn't escape. Did you tell McGonagall who attacked you?" Harry said. It was obvious he was extremely worried.<br>"Yes, of course I did. But look – I'm fine, really. Please, go and eat, you'll need the energy – isn't the Quidditch match today? Gryffindor versus Slytherin? All three of you need your meals. So please, go," she said and gave them an encouraging smile, "I'll be fine, really. I'll come to watch the match."  
>And so Ron, Harry and Draco left, and when they did, Hermione closed the curtain around her bed and dressed into her robes, thanked Madam Pomfrey and set down to the Great Hall. She still was wincing a bit, but she had to admit that she felt much better. She sat next to Harry and Ron and began to eat. Truth be told, she didn't eat all that much, but enough to satisfy her hunger.<br>She talked to Harry and Ron for a while and then went back to her dormitory to grab her cloak and scarf. It was extremely cold outside, and she was going to the Quidditch match, so she did need to warm up. She got to the dormitory quickly and grabbed what she needed, then set off down to the Quidditch pitch. It was quite an exciting game. Draco, however, almost fell off his broom. She did feel quite sorry for him, but she was happy that Gryffindor had won the match. After the game finished, she went off to the library to study a while. She never thought that studying would bore her. Hermione sighed and left the numerous books she took on the table, hoping Madam Pince wouldn't know who left them there, and set off to her common room. When she finally reached it, she saw Draco sitting on the sofa, apparently practicing for his NEWTs, because he was furrowing his eyebrows and obviously thinking hard, tapping his quill on a piece of parchment.  
>"Need help?" she chuckled and sat down next to him.<br>"Nah - well – it depends."  
>"Oh, Potions? Well, that's easy," said Hermione and started helping him. Although Snape always favoured him, he wasn't really <em>that <em>good. They studied together for hours, and when they were finally finished, it was at least half past four.  
>"Okay, so," said Hermione, drowsy and yawning, "what are the characteristics of Amortentia and – what is it anyway?"<br>"It's a potion that makes the drinker infatuated with the person that gave them the potion – and the smell is based on what the smeller likes."  
>"And, what about Dittany? I've had personal experience with that one," muttered Hermione and laughed, leaning her head on Draco's shoulder. Draco shivered, but kept denying it inside his head.<br>"It's a magical herb – very rare – also known as the Burning Bush, it is used in potion making, scar healing and sometimes in wand cores, although it's not a very powerful wand core." said Draco proudly.  
>"Good, good – oh, Merlin, we should really go to sleep. It's half past four, heaven's sake," said Hermione, yawning again.<br>"Yeah, we probably should. But to be completely honest I don't mind staying like this. But I see you're tired, so..." he didn't continue but stood up, took Hermione's hand and led her upstairs. "Sleep with me, please? We'll share a bed on our wedding night anyway – might as well get used to it." Draco couldn't believe he was actually saying that. Could it be the drowsiness? He undressed and climbed into the bed, waiting for Hermione to do the same. When she did, Hermione turned in bed so she was facing Draco. He only moved closer – and kissed her. Hermione was shocked, but kissed him back nevertheless. When she closed her eyes, she just couldn't fall asleep. But it seemed that Draco had thought she actually fell asleep. Because he did something Hermione never thought he'd ever do.  
>"<em>I love you, Granger.<em>"


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